How I work

Cancelling or moving a visit

Twenty-four hours' notice and there is no charge, for any reason at all. Call or text and we will find another day.

Inside twenty-four hours I will not charge you either. I will ask to reschedule instead, and if it keeps happening I will say so rather than quietly adding a fee.

If something gets broken

You hear about it the same day, from me, before you find it yourself. That is the part that matters and it is the part people actually worry about.

Then I repair it or replace it. There is no claims process and no form to fill in, because there are only two of us in this conversation.

What I will not do is tell you a story about it. If I broke something, I will say I broke it.

Keys and getting in

A lockbox or a door code is best, and it is what I will suggest first. Nothing changes hands, and you can change the code whenever you like.

If you would rather give me a key, it is kept with nothing written on it — no address, no name, no tag. A key that identifies the door it opens is the only genuinely risky part of this.

Ask for it back at any time and you get it back, with no notice needed and no explanation wanted.

If I am ill

You hear from me as early as I know, not at the hour I was meant to arrive. Not showing up and explaining afterwards is the one thing I will not do to you.

You get the first slot I have. And to be plain about it: there is no crew behind me to send instead. One trusted person is the whole idea, and this is its honest cost — a day I cannot work is a day that has to move.

Prices and payment

The price you are quoted is the price for that visit, and it covers the supplies and equipment, which I bring.

If I arrive and the job is plainly bigger than what was described, I will tell you before I start and you can decide. I will not do the extra work unasked and put it on the bill.

If you are not happy with a clean

Tell me within two days and I come back and redo what was missed, at no charge. That is the remedy, stated plainly — and it is deliberately not called a guarantee, because that word has a specific meaning in advertising law and it means your money back.

What I do not do

• I am not a contractor. No repairs, no wiring, no plumbing, nothing structural.
• No biohazards, no mould remediation, no after-construction debris.
• I do not move heavy furniture by myself, and I do not climb higher than a two-step stool.
• I do not sell a deep-clean upsell, because I do not offer one.